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Date:2012-04-15 19:44
Subject:Idyllic Day
Mood: satisfied

Today was a wonderfully beautiful day to spend with my favorite Feyrie. We had planned on having a picnic at a waterfall in Burke County. However, I was able to make arrangements for us to go horseback riding. My son's girlfriend told me about a place that sounded amazing. I called and the owner was so kind and open to us coming that I was able to schedule a horseback ride for 2 p.m. As we drove, the countryside was beautiful, lush and green with spring vegetation. We then climbed and climbed up a mountain until we reached the very ridge. The view was spectacular as the road got more and more windy. We finally arrived at a gravel road leading to Poco Rhythm. We were greeted by lovely people, three friendly mountain dogs and three beautiful horses.

We brought picnic foods and spread out blankets overlooking the valley. To my delight, Feyrie made me a beautiful Bento lunch. My first ever. Everything was beautifully presented and delicious. Lotus root, kimchi, homemade chicken salad with almonds and grapes, cod with mango and mint salsa. It was so beautiful, but of course, I had to eat it! We didn't even eat try any of the food I had brought. We then suited up for the horseback ride. I rode a beautiful horse named B.B. and Andrea rode a sweet horse named Annie! The woman who took us on the ride was named Darlene. She rode a beautiful paint named Jasmine. I realized it was over 23 years since I had been on a horse. During the ride, I did not stop smiling. The dogs accompanied us as we rode down, around and through the woods. B.B needed a few reminders to stay in place, but was really a lovely horse. It felt so good to be back in a saddle and have the sensation come back of being up high with the wind blowing through my hair. I think Feyrie was so in touch with her horse, Annie, that she wafted through the whole ride. We returned to Poco Rhythm and fed the horses some bread for a treat. We then changed into swim suits and climbed into the hot tub overlooking the entire valley. The water was perfect and we lounged in the spa for an hour as the wind blew over us and the jets blew bubbles.

I was so relaxed, I teased I might not be able to drive. Walking up the stairs into the house, I felt sore muscles I am sure will remind me of this day for a while!

Thank you, Feyrie, for a beautiful day. All around, it was a day I will always describe as idyllic!

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Date:2012-04-04 21:04
Subject:Today, I talked
Mood: contemplative

to a friend. I have been thinking quite a bit about life, love and losing. After years of trying to communicate with my ex, I realized, I couldn't change the situation. I could only change myself. One fear that held me back for a very long time was related to losing everything. If I walked away, I had the potential to lose not only that relationship, but others as well. I had the potential to lose a home and a safe place.

However, today, I am nearly done with graduate school. I have a good job in a tough economy. It was bad for a while due to an employee who had a vendetta against me, but not it is good. Most of the time, I have a lot of autonomy, the opportunity to grow and shape my program as well as the lives of my clients. I have a safe place to stay with people aren't all up in my Kool-Aid, but, nonetheless, do care about me. I have friends from a variety of places. I think what I have lost is holding on to things that do not work any more. Not an easy place to be, but somehow, I don't feel like a loser...

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Date:2012-04-01 20:09
Subject:Been a while

I had totally forgotten about LJ! How is that even possible? Anyway, I plan to check in more often again!

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Date:2010-06-14 20:28
Mood: contemplative

They stood outside the gate
watching the old man mow his lawn.
Disapproval sketching their lips
in tight, thin lines
at the younger man sitting on a lawn chair.

They watched her perform,
distracted by her jutting canine.
If she would just fix it,
she could really be something
as her soft, throaty heart poured from her soul.

She'd be pretty if only she would conform
they thought.
It's too bad to waste those breasts, that ass.
If she fit the airbrushed, fake boobed mindlessness,
she could become a real woman.

Why must all the dykes look alike?
Crew cuts, value-sized androgyny.

How is it that silicone breasts are desired,
silicone dicks denied?

Like those disdaining the younger man
for sitting while his father mowed,
they miss the story.

Like those criticizing the artist's "blemish",
they miss the soul.

Like those demanding conformity,
they miss the strength of her spirit.

Like those categorizing the ones they do not understand,
they miss the point.

A silicone dick thrust by a lover's hips is more real than:

And, in the meantime, they miss
the point
the soul


AE 5/29/10

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Date:2010-06-13 19:35
Subject:Something I wrote recently...

See my pain?
It’s running down my skin…
Deep scarlet riverlets of pain…

See my pain?
It throbs like a failing heart…
Deep fading courses of pain…

See my pain?
I wear it on the inside…
Like pieces of shrapnel beneath the skin…

See my pain?
It smells deeply of the fading strength of iron…
Like a crime scene…

See my pain?
It is carved on my soul…
Where it grows like a virus…

See my pain?

If I open it…
It will course over my skin
Like random tendrils

It will soothe my soul
And settle in puddles around
My weary feet.


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Date:2010-04-09 21:07
Subject:Stolen - does this sound like me?

Best Occupational Category

Self-Control, Practical, Self-Contained, Orderly, Systematic, Precise, and Accurate

These conservative appearing, plotting-types enjoy organizing, data systems, accounting, detail, and accuracy. They often enjoy mathematics and data management activities such as accounting and investment management. Persistence and patience allows them to do detailed paperwork, operate office machines, write business reports, and make charts and graphs.

Suggested careers are Administrator, Secretary, Printer, Paralegal, Building Inspector, Bank Cashier, Private Secretary, Statistician, Operations Manager, Financial Analyst, Bookkeeper, Medical Records Technician, Developer of Business or Computer Systems, Clerical Worker, Proofreader, Accountant, Administrative Assistant, Banker, Certified Public Accountant, Credit Manager, Store Salesperson, Actuary, Dental Assistant, Business Education Teacher, Food Service Manager, IRS Agent, Budget Analyst, and Underwriter.

Your very careful, conscientious, conservative nature gives others the confidence to trust you with handling money and material possessions. Structured organizations that have well-ordered chains of command work best for you.

Suggested Organizer workplaces are large corporations, business offices, financial lending institutions, banks, insurance companies, accounting firms, and quality control and inspection departments.

2nd Best Occupational Category
You're a DOER

Emotionally Stable, Reliable, High Energy, Practical, Thrifty, and Persistent

These adventurous types prefer action-oriented, concrete problems rather than dealing with thought-provoking, ambiguous, abstract dilemmas. Fields of interest include mechanical, construction, and outdoor careers. They might also enjoy working with machines, tools, and equipment to repair or build something.

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Date:2010-02-18 20:32
Subject:Today has been...

a terrible, horrible, very bad, no good day...

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Date:2010-02-07 14:25
Subject:A thought...

Some say...

There is power in the blood.

I think...

There is power in the tears...

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Date:2010-01-28 18:20

lips curled
eyes slicing
sinewy flesh
soft belly
instinct driving
primal tearing
threat growls
through predator eyes
guttural vibrations
no remorse
no mercy
incisors tearing
organ baring
teeth sinking
blood spurting
head shaking
life sharing

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Date:2010-01-04 06:42
Subject:A thought...

The problem with communication is...

The illusion it has even occurred...

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Date:2009-11-12 18:19
Mood: grateful

Six and a half years ago, I was driving home from Raleigh...Home. It was the first time I realized home was with Sir. Something happened to me when I was at the Servant's Retreat. So much of what I had longed for my entire life was coming together for the first time ever. I called Sir from the Highway and I said, I am almost home.

This week has been a tough one. It is so wonderful to know I have Home. I don't say it often enough, so...

Thank you, Sir, for being my home.

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Date:2009-11-02 20:52

I am having less issues with flashbacks and sensitivity...I still don't feel comfortable driving by the courthouse...I still don't know how to believe what I experienced was real and yet, somehow, over...

But, I am doing better...

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Date:2009-07-17 17:31
Subject:Happy, Happy Birthday NCMaster...
Mood: content

Here's to the first 60!

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Date:2009-07-09 18:09
Subject:Velly intellesting...Thanks puppy!

The Political Compass

Economic Left/Right: -4.38
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -3.85

See where you fall...


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Date:2009-06-07 20:54
Subject:Bangers and Mash and Snakebites...
Mood: content

When the spirit strikes, it is time to step out of the ordinary and have a feyrie day...

Today the Shdwkitten, lil kitten and I took on this venture. Between the Bangers and Mash, Snakebites, Mystery Hill and Kilwin's ice cream, ordinariness was overcome and moments of feyriedom were achieved...

Just what I needed.

Thanks to two special ladies...

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Date:2009-05-23 07:57
Subject:Pondering life...
Mood: contemplative

I love my new job. I am doing well in my master's program. Sometimes, I want to pull my hair out. Sometimes, I cry. Sometimes, I experience pride in those I am guiding. One recent occurrence has hit very close to home with me, however. Last week, one of my participants died. It was completely unexpected. He was relatively young, only 57. While I was talking with Sir, I said I think it's important to remember that people die. It puts things in perspective.

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Date:2009-04-23 06:28
Subject:Happy birthday, puppy!

Happy birthday to my favoritest puppy!!!

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Date:2009-03-22 13:55
Subject:Time for me to post...

Ok, the fates conspired to bring me three events which REQUIRE a post in livejournal.

First of all, I am loving my new job! I love being back in school and I am learning amazing things that I can apply to my life and work.

Of course, being back in school also brings me back in the presence of individuals who exist just to entertain or irritate me. This time, however, a woman really crossed the line. A student in the class has managed to alienate all other students and yet remains clueless as to her own contribution to the situation. I can handle ignorance and naivete, to a degree. I cannot handle offensive, short-sighted, narrow-minded and thoughtless individuals. This student posted in our class discussion, first of all, that smoking is wicked. Then she continued on to say that those who are not in Christ or of Christ NEED counseling. To say I was stunned is to minimize my reaction. Her mindless babbling prior to this post was annoying, but tolerable. I cannot tolerate this last statement, however. I am still shaking my head and I have talked with my academic advisor about how offensive I felt this statement was. I cannot imagine anyone going into public health while ascribing to this way of thought.

Saturday morning, we were headed off to Raleigh with emrys in tow. We stopped to eat at a local Bojangles. During our gourmet chicken lunch, the overhead vents began to barrel waves of overheated air. Although, we brought it to the attention of management and were assured it was being handled, my hair was permanently dried in a tight curl by the time we left. Right before we left, I mentioned to some fellow diners something about the heat. I was then treated to my second adventure. This pair of older African-American woman began to talk about their church and how they were raising money for wells in foreign countries. Sir and I both pulled a dollar out of our wallets and gifted these self-described, "good, Christian women" money towards building the wells. To say that I felt like Alice in the rabbit hole would have been an understatement.

My third odd experience came when we arrived in Salisbury and stopped at a gas station to ask for directions to a flea market in the area. I barrelled out of the car and up to the first person I saw. I soon discovered that the man was deaf, so I addressed him in sign language. He was so pleased, he started signing very rapidly. I had to ask him to slow down. I did not get directions from him, but I did learn that he likes NC State, but despises Duke. Chuckles. I did find directions from a customer inside.

Don't ask me why, but I seem to attract the most interesting individuals! I just thought, I have to make a post to LJ. Even though I know the explanations of these events are inadequate, I wanted to post about them so I would never forget my crazy, whacky experiences!

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Date:2009-01-16 18:36
Subject:Life or no life...That is the question...
Mood: happy

Hmmmmm 84...What does that mean?

( ) Rocky Horror Picture Show
() Grease
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean
(x) Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man’s Chest
() Boondock Saints
(x) Fight Club
( ) Starsky and Hutch
() Neverending Story
(x)Blazing Saddles
(X) Airplane
(x) The Princess Bride
( ) Anchorman
( ) Napoleon Dynamite
(x) Labyrinth
(x) Saw
(x) Saw II
(x) White Noise
(x) White Oleander
(x) Anger Management
() 50 First Dates
() The Princess Diaries
() The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement
() Scream
() Scream 2
() Scream 3
() Scary Movie
() Scary Movie 2
() Scary Movie 3
() Scary Movie 4
(x) American Pie
(x) American Pie 2
() American Wedding
() American Pie Band Camp
(x) Harry Potter 1
(x) Harry Potter 2
(x) Harry Potter 3
(x) Harry Potter 4
(x) Resident Evil 1
() Resident Evil 2
() The Wedding Singer
() Little Black Book
() The Village
() Lilo & Stitch
(x) Finding Nemo
(x) Finding Neverland
(x) Signs
() The Grinch
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre
() Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning
() White Chicks
(x) Butterfly Effect
() 13 Going on 30
(x) I, Robot
() Robots
() Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story
(x) Universal Soldier
() Lemony Snicket: A Series Of Unfortunate Events
() Along Came Polly
() Deep Impact
(x) KingPin
() Never Been Kissed
(x) Meet The Parents
(x) Meet the Fockers
( ) Eight Crazy Nights
() Joe Dirt
() A Cinderella Story
(x) The Terminal
() The Lizzie McGuire Movie
() Passport to Paris
(x) Dumb & Dumber
(x) Dumber & Dumberer
(x) Final Destination
(x) Final Destination 2
( ) Final Destination 3
() Halloween
(x) The Ring
( ) The Ring 2
( ) Surviving X-MAS
() Flubber
() Harold & Kumar Go To White Castle
() Practical Magic
(x) Chicago
(X)Ghost Ship
() From Hell
(x) Hellboy
() Secret Window
(x) I Am Sam
() The Whole Nine Yards
(x) The Whole Ten Yards
(x) The Day After Tomorrow
() Child’s Play
() Seed of Chucky
() Bride of Chucky
() Ten Things I Hate About You
() Just Married
(x) Gothika
() Nightmare on Elm Street
(x) Sixteen Candles
(x) Remember the Titans
() Coach Carter
(x) The Grudge
() The Grudge 2
() The Mask
() Son Of The Mask
() Bad Boys
() Bad Boys 2
() Joy Ride
(x) Lucky Number Slevin
(x) Ocean’s Eleven
(x) Ocean’s Twelve
(x) Bourne Identity
(x) Bourne Supremecy
() Lone Star
() Bedazzled
(x) Predator I
(x) Predator II
() The Fog (the one from the 70's, not the remake)
(x) Ice Age
(x) Ice Age 2: The Meltdown
() Curious George
() Cujo
() A Bronx Tale
() Darkness Falls
() Christine
(x) ET
() Children of the Corn
() My Bosses Daughter
() Maid in Manhattan
() War of the Worlds
(x) Rush Hour
(x) Rush Hour 2
() Best Bet
() How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days
() She’s All That
() Calendar Girls
() Sideways
() Mars Attacks
() Event Horizon
() Ever After
(x) Wizard of Oz
(x) Forrest Gump
() Big Trouble in Little China
(x)The Terminator
(x)The Terminator 2
(x)The Terminator 3
()Spider-Man 2
() Sky High
()Jeepers Creepers
() Jeepers Creepers 2
() Catch Me If You Can
() The Little Mermaid
(x) Freaky Friday
() Reign of Fire
() The Skulls
(x)Cruel Intentions
() Cruel Intentions 2
() The Hot Chick
(x) Shrek
() Shrek 2
() Swimfan
()Miracle on 34th street
() Old School
(x) The Notebook
() K-Pax
() Krippendorf’s Tribe
() A Walk to Remember
() Ice Castles
() Boogeyman
() The 40-year-old Virgin
(x) Lord of the Rings Fellowship of the Ring
(x) Lord of the Rings The Two Towers
(x) Lord of the Rings Return Of the King
(x) Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark
(x) Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom
(x) Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
() Basketball
(x) Hostel
() Waiting for Guffman
() House of 1000 Corpses
() Devils Rejects
() Elf
() Highlander
() Mothman Prophecies
() American History X
() Three
(x) Titanic
() Monty Python and the Holy Grail
() Shaun Of the Dead
() Willard
() High Tension
() Club Dread
() Hulk
()Dawn Of the Dead
() Hook
(x) Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe
() 28 days later
() Orgazmo
() Phantasm
() Kill Bill vol 1
() Kill Bill vol 2
() Mortal Kombat
() Wolf Creek
(x) Kingdom of Heaven
() the Hills Have Eyes
() I Spit on Your Grave aka the Day of the Woman
() The Last House on the Left
() Re-Animator
() Army of Darkness
(x) Star Wars Ep. I The Phantom Menace
(x) Star Wars Ep. II Attack of the Clones
() Star Wars Ep. III Revenge of the Sith
() Star Wars Ep. IV A New Hope
(x) Star Wars Ep. V The Empire Strikes Back
(x) Star Wars Ep. VI Return of the Jedi
() Ewoks Caravan Of Courage
() Ewoks The Battle For Endor
() The Matrix
() The Matrix Reloaded
() The Matrix Revolutions
() Animatrix
() Evil Dead
() Evil Dead 2
() Team America: World Police
(x) Red Dragon
(x) Silence of the Lambs
(x) Hannibal

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Date:2009-01-08 18:00
Subject:Happy Birthday, Carmina!!

Thought you might need a new pair with all of your travels and adventures

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